We saw no signs of the recession in outer space
I know that when I leave town on a 2-day business trip, I expect to find great changes when I return. It’s only natural; one leaves one’s own environment, flies off to a totally different place, there’s a change in the weather, major differences in the food and upheavals in conversation topics. Then you come back and hey! Nothing’s changed since I left? Hard to believe-isn’t it?
Now you’re an astronaut
So if the effect on a normal earth-bound human is surprising, imagine what an astronaut feels. He’s been torn out of earth’s gravity for 12 days, he has been in a state of weightlessness, his blood pressure is zero and the blood is probably circulating anti-clockwise, he has lost his connection to the stock exchange and in fact has been worrying that it may not be there and that he will have to start applying for all sorts of Personal Loans to make it through to the end of the month. His arrival has been delayed for 2 days, he was diverted to a different airport and he can’t sue the airline.
What happened to the recession?
He puts one foot down gingerly onto mother earth and faces the crowd of reporters who have been hanging around the landing strip for 48 hours without sleep, food or cigarettes. “Welcome back to earth, Commander! How were things in outer space?” “All was okay. How’s the stock exchange doing?” the reporter looks him as though he has been too near to the sun or the moon. “How did the crew behave, Commander?” “Fine. What’s with the swine flu? Have the scientists isolated the guilty bug yet?” “No change. Commander, how was the food on the trip?” “Tasteless, as on all flights. Are there any changes in the housing market?”
Back in space
By this stage both the astronaut and the reporter wish they were floating somewhere up there in outer space on a very high orbit, far from earthly matters such as recessions and swine flu. The astronaut is stunned – he has been involved in earth- shattering exploits for 12 days and here people are still walking around in the same shirts. Nothing has changed; he has been to the stars and back and boring old earth is still swinging its way around the sun as though nothing has changed. How can it be?
The spanner or the list
“Do you have anything exciting to report, Commander?”
“The spanner was quite exciting. About as exciting as watching your stock dropping through the floor. Is General Motors still making automobiles?”
“Tell us about the spanner, Commander.”
“Well, I was busy fixing this Hubble telescope thing. I had a spanner in my hand and I was tied to the end of the spacewalk rope. I reached into my pocket to get the list of stocks I want to buy when I get back to earth and I nearly dropped the list. So I let go of the spanner.”
Did you drop the spanner???
Not actually dropped, you understand, because of the weightless factor. It floated off horizontally. I wish GM would have been weightless, then they could have gone off horizontally as well, instead of dropping through the floor. You see, that spanner is still going, unlike GM.”
